I was legitimately planning on going back to the gym for the first time in a month today, and yet…here we are.
This is legitimately Christmas morning for me. We have three of the best Marvel movies coming in 2019, and while I’m obviously beyond jizzed for End Game (not jazzed, and I absolutely did that on purpose because I’m so super horny for that movie) and Captain Marvel, I legitimately can’t believe we got a Far From Home Trailer this early in the year. But far be it from me to look a gift horse in the mouth. Here’s the Spider-Man trailer as broken down by Robbie, a senior contributor at Cinema Soapbox.
00:10 - I love that Aunt May is cool with her young ass nephew being Spider-Man. After her initial “What the f-?!” at the end of Homecoming, it’s nice to see he’s got her in his corner, and it’s even nicer to see that she’s encouraging him to embrace his inner hero. It shows faith, and for whatever reason I’m really happy to see Marvel and Sony taking this path.
00:15 - Happy and May? The hell happened here? Did the aftermath of Thanos’ ashening result in this very weird relationship. Will he be Uncle Happy Hogan by movie’s end?!
00:37 - Peter Parker’s passport picture. We’ve all been there, am I right?
00:39 - Again, May encourages him to pack his Spider suit on the trip. My favorite thing about this clip is Parker saying he wants to go on his trip with his friends. It’s slightly reminiscent of the house party in Homecoming where he tells Ned that Spider-Man is not a party trick. Peter might have support, but there’s still an inner battle there to stay a normal kid for as long as he can. This is what Marvel Studios is best at: humanizing their characters and grounding them in reality.
00:47 - He canNOT be enjoying that flight. The first plane he was ever on was Tony Stark’s private jet, as seen in the home video at the beginning of Homecoming. Any trip from then on is a massive downgrade.
00:55 - “And therefore I have value?” I was fully prepared to roll my eyes at the shit, but I was completely disarmed without quickly she acknowledged the joke and called Peter pretty too. Because, come on…let’s face it. Tom Holland is an incredibly handsome dude.
1:09 - This can’t be the first time Parker meets Nick Fury. It absolutely can’t be. If you listen carefully, there’s a slight audio discrepancy between “So nice to finally meet you” and “…Spider-Man”. Almost as if the first one’s a decoy line, added in post, and Fury addressing Spider-Man by name is actual audio from that environment. Given that there’s zero mention of the events in Infinity War and obviously no mention of what happens in End Game, it’s not unlikely that Marvel Studios would want to keep their distance and make this seem as much of a stand alone as possible. And we’ve been mislead before.
1:25 - “Might want to turn him over so he doesn’t swallow his tongue. Classic Fury no nonsense banter.
1:36 - Does it sound like Spider-Man’s suit is making the same noise as Stark’s suits when they power up? Asking for a friend.
1:38 to 1:49 - Holy shit, the elementals. Holy shit. To my knowledge those are super obscure characters. I know they fought Ms Marvel way back in the day, but this is kind of a shock to me. What’s the point in including them? That’s their…End Game? 😎 Don’t get me wrong, I think it’ll be cool. But it seems like a relatively unknown group of bad guys to toss into the mix.
1:50 - Why is Parker all alone? He has friends. Oh…his friends are in danger? But doesn’t he have…wait. Why? Why is he all alone?! WHO LEFT HIM BY HIMSELF?? Oh, dear god, is Iron Man dead?! DID TONY STARK ACTUALLY DIE?! WHAT HAPPENS IN END GAME?!?!?!?!?!
2:02 - Mysterio makes a pretty grand entrance. Very visual effectish. It suits him. So far I’m pleased.
2:07 - Why is Mysterio fighting the big guy made of water? Is this big guy made of water an Elemental or is that actually Hydro Man? But more importantly, why is a villain fighting another villain? Again, to my knowledge, Mysterio was never a good guy. He was actually an original member of the Sinister Six. This brief clip makes no sense to me.
2:23 - “He’s like Iron Man and Thor rolled into one”. Well, kid…you’re not wrong. That’s a pretty spot on observation.
2:32 - Can you…can you say “dick wad” in a trailer that’s suitable for all ages? That’s a new one to me. But I like it.
Okay. So there you have it. My favorite beats all broken down, and my lack of comic history knowledge on full display.
Over all, I’m super excited for the film. But it seems too calm. Like…I get trying to save any potential spoilers for End Game from leaking, but every article I’ve read says Far From Home picks up right where Avengers 4 leaves off, give or take a few minutes. Seems sort of irresponsible for a super hero to go traipsing off to Europe after universe altering events such as the Snap and the ensuing battle. Millennials, man.
No, but seriously…it’s a widely assumed theory that End Game will include a decent amount of time travel, and with time travel comes retconning, and with great retconning comes great responsibility. I’d just really hate for everything to get altered back to square one, and the Earth has no recollection of the snap. My favorite thing about the MCU has been the constant stakes. One things always leads to another, and it builds, and it builds, and it connects, and it keeps building. I would be insanely disappointed if this is where the bubble burst, and the world is completely reset. Marvel’s also always done a really good job of giving us a taste of upcoming films but not giving anything away. So we’ll see what happens. I’ll save my possible disappointment for movie time.
And now a word from our Supreme Leader, Stephen Balding:
It’s looked to me like they have an ace in the hole with Tom Holland and the Spider-Man character they’ve created this time around. It also seems as if they’ve been grooming him since day one to be the new face of the MCU, and I would be alright with that.
As for the Sinister Six, yes the casting has been monumental, yes Vulture was done justice on the big screen, and it looks like Mysterio will get the respect he deserves. I want to say I’ve heard rumblings of an S6 project, but I’m not too sure how involved Marvel Studios would be. I’m not entirely sure how that joint contract works. Wouldn’t it be great, though? To see the spider-verse truly merge with the MCU? I’d probably die. And not to completely discount Stephen’s point, because it is factual (we’ve seen a new member of the Sinister Six in the last two Spider-Man films), we’ve technically already seen 5 of them.
Mysterio in Far From Home
Vulture in Homecoming
Electro in The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Sand Man in Spider-Man 3
Doctor Octopus in Spider-Man 2
EDITORS NOTE: I fucking refuse to acknowledge Lloyd from Wings playing Sand Man in a movie that still makes me physically angry. Also, Jamie Foxx as the bad guy in a the movie with the 2nd worst Spidey at the time can eat a shit sandwich. If Marvel tries to include these versions of either of the villains in upcoming movies they are going to catch these hands. Do you hear me Feige? DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!
The only member we’ve yet to encounter is Kraven the Hunter. Maybe it’s just a matter of time? And i know all those past portrayals aren’t even canon, but we’ve been given a heft dose of sinistism (not a word) over the years. I would wager that if Far From Home isn’t a complete reset of the MCU, and if it lives up to its predecessor at the box office, more spidey themed films wouldn’t lie too far off the beaten path.
Ugh. I’m so excited. TOO excited. Like…no sleep till July excited.
Spider-Man: Far From Home swings into theatre (I hate myself) July 5th, 2019. The film stars Tom Holland, Samuel Jackson, Jake Gyllenhaal, Zendaya, Cobie Smulders, Jon Favreau, and Marisa Tomei.
Robbie Clark is a senior writer and contributor to Cinema Soapbox