If you think for one second that I don’t go down Nicolas Cage rabbit holes on YouTube to find amazing things like this, then you don’t understand me and we cannot be friends.
This is a talk show on the BBC called Wogan, and to be honest, I’ve never seen a second of his work until I stumbled upon this. He appears to be a very proper British fellow who looked at Nic Cage in the eyes and was forever changed. Wogan had real fear in his eyes and he absolutely should have! 26 year old Nic Cage might have kicked you in the face and back-flipped his way out of the studio before taking off his jacket to expose wings that he used to fly away into the night.
Before we go any further, let me be very clear….I FUCKING LOVE NICOLAS CAGE AND IF YOU THINK HE ISN’T THE BEST GIFT THAT WE’VE EVER RECEIVED AS A PEOPLE THEN I WILL FIGHT YOU!!!
Nicolas is my best friend. He doesn’t know it and we have never met, but I love that man and want to spend my golden years sharing matching chairs on a front porch arguing about comic books and watching him get more and more upset that I think Superman is overrated and Batman is the real hero of the Justice League. My wife will not be pleased about this, but she is very nice and I’m sure her and Nic will get along very well. Nicolas is also a very respectful person who will treat my wife with the respect she deserves. It’s going to be great! His son Kal-El is also just a couple of years older than my daughter and I think they will make a suitable match one day if his intentions are pure and his heart is open to the love of our family.
But I digress…let’s talk about this interview because I can’t get enough of it!
0:04 - Nic comes out to trumpets doing a flip, karate kicking, and throwing cash at people. I don’t know if he was doing drugs in 1990 and frankly I don’t think he was, but if you were ever going to make a case for the upside of cocaine, this is it.
0:21 - Wogan is legit terrified.
0:33 - Wogan tries to reign in Nicolas and why would you do that? I don’t know how long he was on the air or why his show got cancelled, but when you have full on karate in leather Nic Cage coming out that hot, you don’t try to slow it down! You speed him up and see if you can break records.
0:40 - “I just had to get it off my chest and I was just a bit wound up back there” spoken with the utmost sincerity. This man has a saintly heart and is just a bit excitable. Sure, maybe a touch eccentric, but still just a damn delight.
0:46 - Were you not just there for the last 45 seconds Wogan?? Yes he can get carried away and needs to blow off steam with karate and making it rain on audience members! I think I see how you got cancelled now.
1:03 - Leave the jokes to the professionals Wogan.
1:20 - Nic is trying to include Wogan here, but this is now Nic’s talk show and Wogan no longer gets to control what is happening. There can be only one Wogan…..there can be only one.
1:52 - So are you Nic, the hottest star in the history of the world.
2:09 - If there isn’t a kid searching for a band name that doesn’t choose “Nic Cage fist pump of confidence”, then they just aren’t trying hard enough. The full Cage confidence meter is exploding right now! Have you ever seen anyone karate kick their way onto a talk show, throw cash, and take his shirt off in the first two minutes? You’re welcome.
2:22 - “Tell me how you started in the acting?”!! How did you have a job Wogan? You have this display in front of you and that is your question?? I’m glad your show got cancelled.
2:29 - He even clears his throat in a unique way. Is it too late to add this man to Mount Rushmore?
2:43 - Nicolas explains his want to be an actor by being intrigued by how they got small and into the TV. I want to be friends with 7 year old Nic Cage. Part of me feels like I am.
3:03 - Alternate universe Nic Cage would have been a bank robber? Most actors say things like “I’m not really qualified for anything else, so thankfully this acting thing worked out” and it’s complete fake modesty. Oh really Brad Pitt, you couldn’t have done anything else with a face like that? Nothing?? Cage has the bravery to state the obvious. He would have robbed banks and been the real life Danny Ocean with a better suit and 1000% more interesting. I wish he could take his shirt off a second time to as the ultimate flex on Wogan.
3:10 - I told you to knock it off with the jokes Wogan!!
3:28 - Bow down in respect Wogan! Nicolas came to see you, so for the last time knock it off with the jokes!
3:53 - Where are these kids now??? I’ll fight them right this second!!
4:06 - 10 year old put fried grasshoppers in egg salad sandwiches and got kicked out of school for it?? He took the time to fry them for those little shits and that’s the thanks he gets? There are restaurants that serve that kind of thing now. Once again, Nicolas Cage is a trendsetter and way ahead of his time.
4:14 - Nikki Coppola!! Someone get on building a time machine so I can go back in time and serve delicacies to kids with Nikki Coppola!!
4:25 - I bet Roy Richards would kick the shit out of your kid! I also bet that Nic Cage today uses that name as a hotel alias.
4:34 - His first acting experience and I bet he lost his mind and got in all of their faces. You know he went full karate Cage on them!
4:40 - Stop trying to be serious Wogan! What is wrong with you?
5:15 - “I changed my name to Caaaaage” (said with a confidence not meant for most men). That smile on his face lets you and me and everyone know that Cage is not here for your bullshit. Cage is here to win Oscars and turn the industry on its side. He’ll do what he wants and a few short years from now scream the words “Zeus’s Butthole” and everyone would be on board for it.
5:36 - Wogan just asked a guy that karate flipped his way onto his set if he gets into things physically. Tell me again how British TV is so much smarter than American TV. I’ll wait.
5:52 - Oh really Richard Gere, is that what you think? Richard Gere speaks in a way that makes me think he’s trying to put everyone around him to sleep. What does he know about acting? Huh Richard?? What?!
6:02 - Way to end on another stupid joke Wogan.
I love you Nicolas Cage, you are the absolute best!
Stephen Balding is the founder of Cinema Soapbox. You can reach him at email@example.com