What does apple pie, bald eagles, hot dogs, hot yoga, and freedom have in common? They are all things that the terrorists hate! Not American's though, we love freedom and the American flag so much that if Betsy Ross were still alive, we'd take her out for a nice shrimp dinner and absolutely call her again. These colors don't run and neither do we from the lady that brought us the stars and stripes! That flag is the symbol of our freedom and the most American symbol we have. Do you see that picture of Honest Abe Lincoln riding a bear, while holding the Declaration of Independence and a machine gun? That picture would just be cute if he wasn't saddled up to the freedom that is the American flag.
That is the most American picture that I could find on the internet, by far, and also put a thought in my head. What is the most American movie that has ever been made? How do you even define "the most American" movie or "the most American" anything? Well, there has to be a struggle for sure, the American flag needs to be peppered in throughout the movie, and there has to be a fight involved because American's love fighting for shit. So with that criteria, here are the most American movies ever.
Team America: World Police
I know what you are thinking. This is a joke answer and it's not to be taken seriously. I am here to assure you that there is nothing about this answer that is a joke. Sure the movie is funny, but it has everything we love as American's. A fight with an evil dictator, a love story (complete with sex scene), puking, American flags, and one of the most patriotic songs that has ever been written! You throw in explosions, chase scenes, and some kick ass disguises and there aren't too many movies that crank America up to 11 like Team America does!
Say what you will about Mel Gibson (and trust me, I have PLENTY to say), he knows how to make an epic movie that gets you fired up and brings you to the edge of tears. The Patriot is his best work in this genre too, and yes I'm saying that it is better than Braveheart.....much better. What is more American than war and the American flag? That answer is nothing, and this movie includes both and even rides the American flag so hard that he stabs a charging horse with it! That is something that none of the other movies here can claim.
Nic Cage spends two hours trying to outrun and outsmart Eddard Stark to find hidden treasure, while stealing the Declaration of Independence and kidnapping the President of the United States along the way. There are very few things that fit the American dream more than that. National Treasure is also the best Nic Cage movie of the last decade, which means it holds a special place in my heart. Much like Star Wars, I would take a new Benjamin Gates adventure once a year. Just think of it, National Treasure 8: Kidnapping the Queen of England. Ben and company have to kidnap and impregnate the Queen in order to keep an ancient curse from making a secret volcano explode underneath Mount Rushmore. I would see the midnight showing of that on opening night!
There is only one thing that can settle the Cold War and that is a 5'7 Rocky Balboa fighting the 6'5 Ivan Drago in the heart of communist Russia. Not only fighting him, but fighting him in such a convincing manner that it melts the cold hearts of those running the Cold War and look, if Rocky can change, you can change, and EVERYONE CAN CHANGE!! Rocky fights Drago in American flag shorts and gets wrapped in an American flag when he wins. American spirit can help you avenge your friends death, run up a mountain in hiking boots and a little jacket, and win the fight of your life on Christmas Day! That's right, we are fist fighting for America on the same day were are celebrating Jesus! You can't find something more American than that!!
Stephen Balding is the founder of Cinema Soapbox. You can contact him at Stephen@cinemasoapbox.net